The Adjustment Bureau - George Nolfi - 2011

"The affair between a politician and a ballerina is affected by mysterious forces keeping the lovers apart." - IMDB.

I was slightly misled by this movie but still enjoyed it.  It looked to have a Dark City premise but that was merely and undertone to the prominent Sleepless in Seattle story (only love story movie I could think of).  It had just enough of the "what the fuck is going on" mystery/thriller moments to keep me watching instead of defecating in the aisle and waiting for a rose to bloom rather than for another second looking at the screen.  I guess you can take that as a compliment.

The mysterious forces keeping them apart are guys in hats who are either Angels, Aliens, or Jehovah's Witnesses.  I think the latter.  They have a plan set in motion for everyone that they put into play by tweaking random occurrences.  The plan goes awry when "Matt Damon" continuously meets the ballerina, Emily Blunt, which completely opposes the plan.


One major flaw I see in the ethics of the The Adjustment Bureau, the organization in the movie not the movie itself, is that their hats relinquish the power to use doors as portals throughout the city (Monsters, Inc much?).  I guess their biggest threat is wind.  

Hat fly off.  Bye bye powers.  Hobo bum piss smelly rapist find hat.  Hello intermittent sodomy.  Hello sequel? 


I did like this movie as it may not seem.  Both "Matt Damon" and Emily Blunt did some great acting and the movie wasn't a shit fest rom-com lobotomy.  I was let down with Terence Stamp's "Thompson" character due to the promise of the "Oh shit! You don't mess with Thompson" persona he was given but did not deliver anything more brutal than a paper cut.  This doesn't take away from how awesome Stamp is though, watch The Limey.

The ending was quite hack and predictable but all in all was enjoyable.

Paul - Greg Mottola - 2011

"Two British comic-book geeks traveling across the U.S. encounter an alien outside Area 51." - IMDB

Anything with Simon Pegg and or Nick Frost is a must watch for me.  So be it the movie wasn't as funny as expected but with Pegg and Frost writing it I was brought back a little nostalgia of their BBC series Spaced.  The movie was full of references that surely any sci-fi fan boy will recognize and if not then you shall have your badge removed and forced to dedicate all attention to girls, poor soul.  The most notable reference was when the duo entered a shit-kicker bar and the band was playing a little ditty you might hear during a trip to Mos Eisley, get it?

Seth Rogen voices the lovably offensive little green guy.  Which is fitting since both are notorious for smoking what they call "the reefer".  With the plethora of "fucks" and genitalia jokes how could you not love this film?

I think the marketing department might have undershot the demographic since there were an intolerable amount of children in the theater.  Or maybe it was spot on since I heard the kids saying with the full extent of their feeble vocabulary "That was awesome!", which I concur, while the parent(s) couldn't find words that could so accurately describe their disgust and resorted to "awful".

I was hoping for the unnecessary full screen shot of alien dick and balls so I could witness the panicked parents drag their toddlers by the eyelids out of the theater.  Sorry folks no green chode just a series of innuendos. 

I will wrap it up by saying he should of went with four tits.

Black Death - Christopher Smith - 2010

"Set during the time of the first outbreak of bubonic plague in England, a young monk is tasked with learning the truth about reports of people being brought back to life in a small village." - IMDB

Not too often do they make a movie about the plague as it swept across Europe in the 14th century.  The last I recall is 1985's Flesh and Blood.  This film takes a different approach to the battle against pestilence and I really enjoyed it.

Sean Bean plays a knight (typecast much?) on a holy mission to subdue the necromancer of a Pagan village who has avoided the God inflicted plague upon Christians.  Stories grow of the village practicing witchcraft and raising the dead.  Due to their lack of compliance to Christianity they are deemed heretics and a band of executioners sent by the church are to take upon the village.

This movie reminded me of The Wicker Man, the 1973 version not the 2006 abortion Nicolas Cage was in.  The films share the story of authorities sent to a remote town where reports of suspicious acts take place.  Arrival to the village reveals a town of unsuspecting and overly friendly townsfolk but excessive prying into the understandings of how the town runs reveals the true underlying evil of the people.  Now the evil is merely perspective since the townsfolk believe what they are doing is right and the meddling of the outsiders is only to harm them.

The ending of this film took a turn that to me would make a decent movie on it's own.

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest - Daniel Alfredson - 2009

"Lisbeth is recovering in a hospital and awaiting trial for three murders when she is released. Mikael must prove her innocence, but Lisbeth must be willing to share the details of her sordid experiences with the court." - IMDB

The final film in the Swedish production of the Stieg Larsson novels.  Out of the three films this one was equally as good as the first.  This one involved more of a court room drama and less of a thriller than the previous two but the conclusion of Lisbeth Salander's struggle was well worth it. 

Noomi Rapace plays the hacker/punk Lisbeth Salander and now she has landed roles in the next Sherlock Holmes and Prometheus the Alien prequel.  I am glad to see her getting some recognition.

Now the American retelling/remake of this trilogy is underway helmed by director David Fincher.  I have complete confidence in Fincher putting together a stellar film but I see it as pointless.  Originally I thought the American versions were going to take place in America but I have read that they will still take place in Sweden but the characters will speak English.  The reason is due to the different politics in Sweden that would not work in America.

Is it the lack of American's tolerance for subtitles that provokes remakes of foreign films?  I don't get it.  Now I believe Fincher to be a superior director to the ones who directed the Swedish films but by no means do these films merit remaking and or retelling.  Subtitles don't hurt and if you can't read and follow the movie then I can't comprehend how you know when or how to breathe.

For a comparison here are Noomi Rapace amd Rooney Mara's portrayal of Lisbeth Salander:

Noomi Rapace

Rooney Mara

Machete - Robert Rodriguez, Ethan Maniquis - 2010

"After being betrayed by the organization who hired him, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss." - IMDB

Decapitations? Intestinal Spelunking? Gratuitous Nudity? Racist De Niro? Lawnmower Man? Fucking Steven Segal?

Yes, yes, and more yes.  Rodriguez delivers another Grindhouse style intentionally-awesomely-bad movie.

Danny Trejo leads the movie as Machete an Ex-Federale who seeks vengeance on basically everyone, especially Segal who methodically transforms himself into a Mexican.  Bale? No thanks, give me Segal.

I would love to see another collaboration by Rodriguez and Tarentino for another Grindhouse Feature if only the first hadn't bombed horribly.  At least they were trying to make an experience rather than another passive moment where you become a goldfish and forget what you just saw.

What I love about Rodriguez's DVD releases is the option to choose the audience reaction audio track.  It gives you the feeling of being in the theater without fart saturated seats and that guy who thinks he is funny yelling out during the film but is really a witless tool and will hopefully meet a drunk driver bumper to bumper as he and his buddies inaccurately quote the movie they just saw mere minutes ago.

I wouldn't say Rodriguez's films are in the traditional sense great films, except Sin City, but they are an experience.  He knows that movie goers want to have fun and not the the Adam Sandler-ish "Oh I am above goofy voices now so I will make dreck, dick and fart joke movies and end with a message saying everything we made fun of previously was wrong and we really should accept those people, a-hoobity doobity."  We need those movies that bring the guttural moans when what should be tragic, throat fucked by a machete (in the film), is ball jiggling hilarity.

Antichrist - Lars Von Trier - 2009

"A grieving couple retreats to their cabin in the woods, hoping to repair their broken hearts and troubled marriage. But nature takes its course and things go from bad to worse." - IMDB

It isn't too often you see penis-to-vagina penetration or blood ejaculate in a film and when you do it is never enough.

This movie has themes of Adam and Eve, Witchcraft, and Paganism.  It follows a couple, Willam Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg, whose son dies and Dafoe tries various methods of therapy to help his wife with her grief.  Aptly named He and She in the film, they retreat to their cabin in the woods, Eden, where She tries to overcome her fear of the woods.

As He analyzes She he becomes aware that She has completely adopted the idea that women are inherently evil.  She came to this awareness from her studies of Gynocide, the killing of women, for the book she was compiling.  While trying to detach her from those thoughts, He discovers evidence of inherent evil qualities such as child abuse, mental degradation, etc.

At this point I will refrain from revealing anymore of this film since there isn't much to say that wouldn't be considered spoilers.

I did love the look and mood of this film.  It had parallels of an Andrei Tarkovsky film and Von Trier even dedicated the film to him.